KTJK Fw: From Sept-Dec 2008
Dec 25, 2008
From: La Mafia
Subject: La Mafia wishes you a Merry Christmas
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Dec 24, 2008
From: Chrissy
Subject: FW: True friend
Who
is your real friend?
This really works...!
If you don't believe it, just try this experiment.
Put your dog and your spouse in the trunk of the car for an hour.
When you open the trunk, who is really happy to see you?
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Dec 23, 2008
From: Chrissy
Subject: Fw: In Maine---Tallest snowwoman!
World's Tallest Snowman Made In Maine
By David Sharp, Associated Press
BETHEL, Maine (AP) — The world's tallest snowman is no man.The "snowwoman" towering over this village features eyelashes created from discarded skis and bright red lips made from painted car tires. She wears a giant red hat and a 100-foot-long scarf, and her blond tresses are made from rope. She gets a little bling from a snowflake pendant that's 6 feet long.
"She's a beauty. Gotta love those eyelashes," said Robin Zinchuk, executive director of the local chamber of commerce and a chief instigator of the town's offbeat project.
With the temperature in single digits, several hundred people including busloads of schoolchildren turned out for Friday's dedication of the 122-foot-tall mountain of snow.
This ski town of about 2,400 residents already holds the record for tallest snowman, dedicated in 1999. Since then, they have been waiting for someone else to break the record. When no one rose to the challenge, the folks here decided they'd have to break the record themselves.
Mark Bancroft, who donated the 150-foot crane used during the project, noted that it has been a tough winter with high fuel costs and nasty weather.
"What does Bethel, Maine, do when it gets tough? We build a snowman!" he said to the muffled applause of mittens and gloves clapping together.
"Olympia," named for Maine's senior senator, Olympia Snowe, stands nearly 10 feet taller than "Angus, King of the Mountain," who was
dedicated by the town in 1999. That snowman, named for then-Gov. Angus King, was created by the same folks responsible for Olympia.
Last year's Angus King.Although the snowwoman's namesake was unable to attend Friday's dedication because of her duties in Washington, a statement was read to the crowd.
"I've joked that it's just my luck I'd have a world record-breaking monument named after me -- and it will be gone by summer," the senator said.
It took more than a month, dozens of volunteers and tons of snow to create Olympia. Jim Sysko, a civil engineer, oversaw design and construction.
To get an idea of scale, Olympia is about 30 feet shorter than the Statue of Liberty (without the base). Her arms consist of 27-foot-tall evergreens.
Her "carrot" nose, painted by schoolchildren, is 8 feet long. Her eyes are made from giant wreaths.
She was built with a series of concentric circles. The crane dumped the snow into frames, and volunteers climbed in for long hours shoveling and packing the snow.
"The best part of it is how everyone in town pitched in and made it happen," said volunteer David Lynch. "It got hairy up at the top. I only made it to 80 feet."
The final product is the talk of the town. People especially liked the lashes created from old skis donated from the Sunday River ski resort.
"It's the whimsy of it all. That's what makes it so great," said Iris Roberts, of Jefferson City, Mo., who watched with her husband on Friday.
Angus was certified as the world's tallest snowman by the Guinness Book of Records. It remains to be seen if Olympia will get the nod as tallest snowman, or snowwoman. There's currently no separate category for snowwoman, so residents are petitioning for one.
There was plenty of snow for the project. Parts of Maine have had more than 100 inches of snow this season, unlike 1999 when Angus was built.
Volunteers started with manmade snow and then used snow piled on the runway of the municipal airport to finish the job.
"People love it. With all this snow, we did something good with it," said Darlene Ginsberg, who directed traffic with one hand while holding a cup of hot coffee in the other.
After the ceremony, local resident Julia Reuter stepped to the microphone and led the crowd in an impromptu singalong to the classic song, "Winter Wonderland."
In fact, more winter weather was on tap for Friday night.
Alex Kaufman from Sunday River credited Olympia for bringing the snowiest winter in 12 years.
Then he took a jab at Angus.
"Angus didn't bring squat for snow," he quipped. "In this case, it took a woman to get it done."
Olympia's eyelashes are made from skis and her bright red lips are painted tires.
Olympia stands nearly 10 feet taller than "Angus, King of the Mountain," who was dedicated by the town in 1999.
Her "carrot" nose, painted by schoolchildren, is 8 feet long.
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Dec 22, 2008
From: Debra
Subject: What every Mexican kid wants for Christmas...
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Dec 19, 2008
From: Joe
Subject: Speaking of Rich Wives
One day, a
man came home and was greeted by his wife dressed in a very Sexy nightie. 'Tie
me up,' she purred, 'and you can do anything you want' So he tied her up and
went golfing.
*****************************************
A woman
came home, screeching her car into the driveway, and ran into the house. She
slammed the door and shouted at the top of her lungs, 'Honey, pack your bags. I
won the lottery!'
The husband said, 'Oh my God! What should I pack, beach stuff or mountain
stuff?' 'Doesn't matter,' she said. 'Just get out.'
********************************************
Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right, and the other
is a husband.
*************************************
A Polish
immigrant went to the DMV to apply for a driver's license. First, of course, he
had to take an eye sight test The optician showed him a card with the letters
'C Z W I X N O S T A C Z.' 'Can you read this?' the optician asked. 'Read
it?' the Polish guy replied, 'I know the guy.'
***********************************************
Mother
Superior called all the nuns together and said to them, 'I must tell you all
something. We have a case of gonorrhea in the convent.' 'Thank God,' said an
elderly nun at the back. 'I'm so tired of chardonnay.
********************************************
A wife was making a breakfast of fried eggs for her husband. Suddenly, her
husband burst into the kitchen. 'Careful,' he said, 'CAREFUL! Put in some more
butter! Oh my gosh! You're cooking too many at once. TOO MANY! Turn them! TURN
THEM NOW! We need more butter. Oh my gosh! WHERE are we going to get MORE
BUTTER? They're going to STICK! Careful. CAREFUL! I said be CAREFUL! You NEVER
listen to me when you're cooking! Never! Turn them! Hurry up! Are you CRAZY?
Have you LOST your mind? Don't forget to salt them. You know you always forget
to salt them. Use the! Salt. USE THE SALT! THE SALT!' The wife stared at him.
'What in the world is wrong with you? You think I don't know how to fry a
couple of eggs?' The husband calmly replied, 'I just wanted to show you what it
feels like when I'm driving.'
***************************************************************
Fifty-one years ago, Herman James, a North Carolina mountain man, was drafted
by the Army. On his first day in basic training, the Army issued him a comb.
That afternoon the Army barber sheared off all his hair. On his second day, the
Army issued Herman a toothbrush. That afternoon the Army dentist yanked seven
of his teeth. On the third day, the Army issued him a jock strap. The Army has
been looking for Herman for 51 years.
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Dec 18, 2008
From: Joe
Subject: FW: Did you ever wonder why...
Today's Featured Humor : -) - Did You Ever Wonder Why...
Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?
Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?
Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?
Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?
If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON(R), how do they make TEFLON(R) stick to the pan?
If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?
If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?
You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?
Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?
Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
Why is brassiere singular and panties plural?
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?
Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?
I don't believe in reincarnation, but I did in my past life.
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Dec 17, 2008
From: Jonathan
Subject: FW: Calvin's Snowmen
�Calvin's Snowmen �
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Dec 11, 2008
From: Christina
Subject: FW: Watermelons and Eggs....
These are truly incredible. You'll love the cool watermelons,
but you'll be blown away by the eggs!
These egg
shells 
were
cut with a high intensity precision Laser Beam. This gives a very good idea of
what can be achieved with a Laser Beam. This gives you an idea what laser
surgery performed on one's eye is all about. Is it any wonder how one's vision
can be improved in just a few moments? Science is sometimes wonderful, and it's
still on the frontier of gaining new knowledge. Incredible
what can be done with an eggshell and a laser beam.
'A true friend is someone who knows you're
a good egg even if you're a little cracked.'
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Dec 11, 2008
From: Chrissy
Subject: Fw: [Fwd: FW: Redneck Christmas Tree]
The Redneck
Christmas Tree
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Dec 9, 2008
From: Joe
Subject: Dumbest Illegal Immigrant - Priceless
Dumbest Illegal Immigrant
Running stop light = $100.00
DUI = $5000.00
Not wearing a seat belt = $50.00
Putting you & your girlfriends photo on your fake drivers license = PRICELESS
REMEMBER!!
When making a fake ID, attach a picture of yourself only...
no matter how much you love your girl
'Counterfeit I.D. of the week'....
This is an actual Drivers License from a traffic stop...
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Dec 8, 2008
From: Joe
Subject: A Christmas Story for people having a bad day
A Christmas Story for people having a bad day:
When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys
as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas
pressure.
Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed
Santa even more.
When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about
to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows
where.
Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the
toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.
Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of
rum.. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drank all the
cider and hidden the liquor. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the
cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the
kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the
straw off the end of the broom.
Just then the doorbell rang, and irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked
it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.
The angel said very cheerfully, 'Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn't this a lovely
day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?'
And so began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.
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Dec 5, 2008
From: Jonathan
Subject: FW: Twins
With all the political
jokes lately, I thought we could use a dumb blonde joke.....
The other day my neighbor, who
happens to be blonde, came running up to me in the driveway jumping for joy! I
didn't know why she was jumping so excitedly but I thought, 'what the heck',
and I starting jumping up and down along with her.
She said, 'I have some really great
news!'
I said, 'Great. Tell me why you're so happy.'
She stopped jumping and breathing heavily from all the jumping up and down,
told me that she was pregnant.
I knew she'd been trying for a
while so I told her, 'That's great I couldn't be happier for you!'
Then she said, 'There's more'
I asked, what do you mean there's more?
She said, 'Well, we are not having just one baby. We are going to have TWINS!'
Amazed at how she could know so soon after getting pregnant, I asked her how
she knew.
She said.... (You're going to love this!) 'Well, that was the easy part. I
went to Wal-Mart and they actually had a home pregnancy kit in a TWIN-pack.
Both tests came out positive!'
God help her baby!
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Dec 1, 2008
From: Chrissy
Subject: FW: REDNECKS
Redneck Harley
Redneck Bass Boat
Redneck Grill
Redneck Horseshoes
Redneck Lawnmower
Redneck Weather Station
Redneck Pet Carrier
Redneck Gingerbread House
Redneck Wedding Reception
Redneck Guest Bedrooms
Redneck Palm Pilot
Redneck Powerball Winner
The above Powerball Winner on Vacation
And last but not least???..the Redneck Yacht
You Might be a redneck if...
A little rain doesn't spoil the fishing...
You need fashion tips from your husband...
You wear a shirt like this for your engagement picture...
And your wedding cake looked like this...
Your doghouse look s like this...
Your pickup looks like this...
You have a deer's butt for a door bell...
You don't need a lake to do a little skiing...
Or if your wife is quoted in the local paper saying...
This one is my Favorite
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Nov 20, 2008
From: Mary Sue
Subject: Mrs. Jill Frein Knoll
|
Good Morning! Jay and Anna, Hope you are doing well on this Friday morning. Just thought I would send this email. Mrs. Jill Knoll, Art Teacher at Buena Vista Elementary passed away yesterday evening. I don't recall if she was actually the first recipient of your "Teacher of the Week" award last year. I remember you met her and she relayed to you how she was diagnosed with cancer a few years back but she was doing great at that time. If you recall, she was bubbly and always had that smile. Mrs. Knoll (formerly Miss Frein) taught first grade at Lamar Elementary for many years and was our son's first grade teacher in 1993. When people die, you always hear how great he/she was. Well, Jill was the perfect example of what a teacher should be. She loved her kids and was genuine. You could see her devotion and as I understand, she was loved by everyone at Buena Vista. Time or her illness never changed her. She took things with the same faith and love in her heart. There is no doubt in our hearts that she is now an angel watching over all her loved ones..... Thanks for that wonderful day last year when you honored her with the award. God Bless you and have a great holiday. From: The Hernandez Family |
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Nov 20, 2008
From: Joe
Subject: Joke
A young man named John received a parrot as A gift. The parrot had a
Bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the
Bird's' mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John
Tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only
Polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of
To 'clean up' the bird's vocabulary.
Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot
Yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and
Even ruder. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him
In the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and
Screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not A Peep, was heard
For over a minute.
Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly opened the door to
The Freezer. The parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms
And said "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and
Actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I
Fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and
Unforgivable behavior."
John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to
Ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his
Behavior, when the bird continued, "May I ask what the turkey did?"
HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
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Nov 19, 2008
From: Mari
Subject: FW: Snow white and the siete dwarfs
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Nov 18, 2008
From: Joe
Subject: BBQ requires maintenance story...
So I'm using
my BBQ this weekend... I thought I'll clean it up..
I have known that there are bee's coming from under the cover so I thought I'd
kill them, obviously...
so here's the BBQ in question
Now I know these bombs aren't for bee's, but I thought I'll suffocate/smoke
them out. So here is the weapon of choice and delivery system.
I
thought I was pretty smart ha-ha designed to be easily
manoeuvred
under the cover of darkness...
So then I release the weapon of buzz destruction.
Oh my goodness!! The sound from under the cover was incredible!!!
You could hear it
3 miles away easy...
Then I ran like the clappers....
Coming back few minutes later to see the death toll...
This was at least a 20mm deep mass grave
I
continued to remove the cover and to light the BBQ to give it a clean when I
noticed some fatty looking substance on the top of the side shelf thing....
Bit weird.. I cleaned it before I put it away for winter and no way was there
fat there so I begun to wonder......
NO..... it can't be... could it?
I slowly removed the rest of the cover only to find the Head Quarters...
AND ON ANOTHER NOTE
We think the queen flew away.... either that or a small child has wings and has
been living in the hive cuz that thing was huge!
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Nov 13, 2008
From: Rudy
Subject: Should there be more than proof of citizenship to vote?
The following is a true story shared by KC Williams who teaches government at Santa Fe High School .
In one of KC's classes, they were discussing the qualifications to be president of the United States . It was pretty simple the candidate must be a natural born citizen of at least 35 years of age. However, one girl in the class immediately started in on how unfair was the requirement to be a natural born citizen. In short, her opinion was this requirement prevented many capable individuals from becoming president.
KC and the class were just taking it in and letting her rant, but everyone's jaw hit the floor when she wrapped up her argument by stating, What makes a natural born citizen any more qualified to lead this country than one born by C-section?(And, unfortunately, she will soon be qualified to vote!)
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Nov 12, 2008
From: Juan
Subject: teacher of the week
Hi Jay and Ana, I would like to nominate Mrs. Katie Gonzalez from Ruben Chavira Elementary for the teacher of the week award. She teaches first grade. She has been teaching for over 27 years. She is doing a great job teaching my son, and I think it would be nice to recognize her for all that she does. Her contact number is (830) 778-4660 ext 1653. Thank you and keep up the good work, Robert Martinez.
p.s. you two have the best chemistry and smoothest flowing show in del rio. very professional.
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Nov 10, 2008
From: Jonathan
Subject: FW: Cool art that will mess with your brain
Cool art that will mess with your head
11 SHIPS OR 3 SHIPS & 8 ARCHES
DO YOU SEE FACES OR ALL HOUSES
How many
horses in this picture? Should find 7
PEOPLE OR FACES
A PICTURE PUZZLE!
HOW MANY PEOPLE
SEE MORE THAN ONE DEER?
Look at the middle column.
Where does it end???
DO YOU SEE FOUR PEOPLE?
Who is the tallest?
NEXT:?
What do you see here?
Do you see the word 'LIFT'??
Or, a bunch of black splotches? ?
GIRL S ARE ABLE TO SPOT THE WORD 'LIFT' EASILY.?
MEN FIND IT DIFFICULT TO SEE THE WORD 'LIFT'!!!
NEXT... FIND THE FACES:
THE LAST ONE:
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Nov 5, 2008
From: Raymond
Subject: GOOD MORNING
GOOD MORNING, JAY & ANA, HOW YOU DOING ON THIS WONDERFUL DAY? I'M TELLING YOU, YOU BETTER GO BUY YOU A PAIR OF GOOD SHADES, BECAUSE THE FUTURE IS LOOKING REALLY BRIGHT, THANKS TO THE AMERICAN PEOPLE WHO MADE A GOOD DECISION WITH BARRACK OBAMA, I LOVE YOUR SHOW KEEP ON PLAYING THE BEST TEJANO MUSIC IN TEJAS, SALUDOS FROM THE PEOPLE IN AMARILLO TX AND YOUR FRIEND RAYMOND RENTERIA
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Nov 3, 2008
From: Joe
Subject: I want to be like Mommy
(Mommy works at a hardware store, she was selling a shovel)
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Oct 29, 2008
From: Joe
Subject: Trick or Treat :)
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Oct 27, 2008
From: Chrissy
Subject: Fw: Why some men have dogs and not wives
Why Some
Men Have Dogs And Not Wives:
1. The later
you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you.
2. Dogs don't
notice if you call them by another dog's name.
3. Dogs like
it if you leave a lot of things on the floor.
4. A dog's
parents never visit.
5. Dogs agree
that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
6. You never
have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day.
7. Dogs find
you amusing when you're drunk.
8. Dogs like
to go hunting and fishing.
9. A dog will
not wake you up at night to ask, 'If I died, would you get another dog?'
10. If a dog
has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away.
11. A dog
will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert.
12. If a dog
smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's
interesting.
13. Dogs like
to ride in the back of a pickup truck.
And last, but not least:
14. If a dog
leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.
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Oct 22, 2008
From: Joe
Subject: News
uh.....
|
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Oct 21, 2008
From: Chrissy
Subject: Fw: FW: How to fail tests with dignity.
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Oct 20, 2008
Subject: THIS REALLY WORKS!!!
Ok, this really works!! Scroll down!!
Ready???
______________________________________________________________________________________________
From: Irma
Oct 16, 2008
Subject: WHEN PUMPKINS DRINK...
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From: R
Oct 15, 2008
Subject: toooooo funny halloween joke
A cabbie picks up a Nun. She gets into
the cab, and notices that the VERY handsome cab driver won't stop staring.
She asks him why he is staring. He
replies: "I have a question to ask, but I don't want to offend you."
She answers, " My son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and
have been a nun as long as I have, you get a chance to see and hear just about
everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would
find offensive."
"Well, I've always had a fantasy to
have a nun kiss me."
She responds, "Well, let's see what we can do about that: #1, you have to be
single and #2, you must be Catholic."
The cab driver is very excited and
says, "Yes, I'm single and Catholic!"
"OK" the nun says. "Pull into the next alley."
The nun fulfills his fantasy with a
kiss that would make a hooker blush.
But when they get back on the road, the cab driver starts crying.
"My dear child," said the nun, "Why are you crying?"
"Forgive me but I've sinned. I lied and I must confess; I'm married and I'm
Methodist."
The nun says, "That's OK. My name is Kevin and I'm going to a
Halloween party."
______________________________________________________________________________________________
From: Raymond
Oct 14, 2008
Subject: Fw: Proof that Men Have Better Friends...
Proof
that Men Have Better Friends...
Friendship among Women: A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she
told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house.
The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it.
Friendship among Men: A man didn't come home one night. The next morning he told
his wife that he had slept over at a friend's house. The woman called her
husband's 10 best friends. Eight confirmed that he had slept over, and two
said he was still there.
______________________________________________________________________________________________
From: Jonathan
Oct 13, 2008
Subject: FW: New ideas for financial planning
LIQUID
ASSETS
If you had
purchased $1,000 of shares in Delta Airlines one year ago, you will have $49.00
today.
If you had
purchased $1,000 of shares in AIG one year ago, you will have $33.00 today.
If you had
purchased $1,000 of shares in Lehman Brothers one year ago, you will have $0.00
today.
But, if you had
purchased $1,000 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in
the aluminum cans for recycling refund, you will have received a $214.00.
Based on the
above, the best current investment plan is to drink heavily & recycle. It is
called the 401-Keg.
A recent study
found that the average American walks about 900 miles a year.
Another study
found that Americans drink, on average, 22 gallons of alcohol a year.
That means that,
on average, Americans get about 41 miles to the gallon!
Makes you proud
to be an American
______________________________________________________________________________________________
From: Joe
Oct 10, 2008
Subject: This is how the dollar looked this morning.
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From: Rosamaria
Oct 9, 2008
Subject: Teacher of the Week
My daughter, Rosamaria Alvarado, wants to nominate
Marisol Stafford for the Teacher of the Week. She is a fourth grade teacher at
North Heights Elementary. This is Mrs. Stafford's first year in North Heights
and she is doing a wonderful job with her class. Rosamaria and several of her
classmates enjoy going to school since the educational environment that Ms.
Stafford provides for them makes them look forward to going to school. We
really hope that you take this nomination into consideration and that way, when
you visit Mrs. Stafford for being Teacher of the Week, you will be able to prove
why Mrs. Stafford is a teacher liked by her students.
Rosamaria
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From: Velma
Oct 8, 2008
Subject: FW: The Zipper
FOR YOUR FORWARD OF THE DAY!
The Zipper
As the bus stopped and it was her turn to get on, she became aware that her
skirt was too tight to allow her leg to come up to the height of the first step
of the bus.
Slightly embarrassed and with a quick smile to the bus driver, she reached
behind her to unzip her skirt a little, thinking that this would give her
enough slack to raise her leg. She tried to take the step, only to
discover that she couldn't. So, a little more embarrassed, she once again
reached behind her to unzip her skirt a little more, and for the second time
attempted the step.
Once again, much to her chagrin, she could not raise her leg with a little
smile to the driver, she again reached behind to unzip a little more and again
was unable to take the step.
About this time, a large Kentuckian who was standing behind her picked her up
easily by the waist and placed her gently on the step of the bus.
She went ballistic and turned to the would-be Samaritan and yelled, 'How dare
you touch my body! I don't even know who you are!'
The Kentuckian smiled and drawled, 'Well,
ma'am, normally I would agree with you, but after you unzipped my fly three
times, I kinda figured we were friends.
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From: Irma
Oct 7, 2008
Subject: A Little Humor : Why Latinas Shouldn't have Sharpies
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From: Aurelia
Oct 3, 2008
Subject: Good Morning I have a birthday dedication
I would like to let you know that I am glad we are able to listen to your station online. I miss having a Tejano station here in the Dallas/Fort Worth Metroplex. It’s great to continue hearing Tejano music.
I would like to wish a HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my great-great nephews(TWINS!), Matthew and Michael Chavira. If you will wish them a Happy Birthday on Friday, October 3rd. They will be 7 years old. And also a Happy Birthday from their Grandmother, Christina Sanchez and their Uncle Nick Escamilla.
Thank you,
Aurelia Escamilla
______________________________________________________________________________________________
From: Mario
Oct 2, 2008
Subject: SEND A HAPPY BIRTHDAY
HEY JAY AND
ANA 
MARIO ALBERTO RODRIGUEZ HE IS TURNING 12 TODAY FROM HIS GRANMA AND DAD
KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK IN THE MORNING
THANK YOU MARIO
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From: Christina
Oct 1, 2008
Subject: FW: Painted Bathroom Floor & Ceiling...
THIS IS
A CEILING MURAL IN A SMOKER'S LOUNGE.
There’s
another……below…
BATHROOM
PAINTED FLOOR!!!
IMAGINE YOU ARE AT A PARTY ....
Tenth floor of a hi-rise building.....
AND THEN YOU HAVE TO VISIT THE BATHROOM...
You open the door...
NOW, REMEMBER
THE FLOOR IS JUST A PAINTED
FLOOR!
KINDA TAKES YOUR BREATH AWAY.....
DOESN'T IT?
Scroll sloooooooowly. .....
Would this
mess up your mind??? Would you be able to walk in
To this
bathroom???
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From: Jonathan
Sept. 30, 2008
Subject: FW: funnies
Jay these are from my cuzz Mary sue. if you have no morning song play the barbacoa song for her. by the way ring ring it's taco tuesday 1st caller lATERS!!!!! MORNING ms ANNA
Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther away...
Florida or the moon?' The other blonde turns and says 'Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?
CAR
TROUBLE
A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
She says, 'What's the story?'
He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'
She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?'
SPEEDING
TICKET
A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he could see her license.
She
replied in a huff, 'I wish you guys would get your act together.
Just yesterday you take away my
license and then today you expect me to show it to you!'
RIVER
WALK
There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank 'Yoo-hoo!' she shouts, 'How can I get to the other side?'
The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back, 'You ARE on the other side.'
AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
'Impossible!' says the doctor. 'Show me.'
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, 'You're not really a redhead, are you?
'Well, no' she said, 'I'm actually a blonde.'
'I thought so,' the doctor said, 'Your finger is broken.'
KNITTING
A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was kni tting!
Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, 'PULL OVER!'
'NO!' the blonde yelled back, 'IT'S A SCARF!'
BLONDE
ON THE SUN
A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day.
The Russian said, 'We were the first in space!'
The American said, 'We were the first on the moon!'
The Blonde said, 'So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!' The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.
'You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!' said the Russian.
To which the Blonde replied, 'We're not stupid, you know. We're going at night!'
IN A
VACUUM
A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night.. It was her turn. She rolled the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, 'If you are in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?' She thought for a time and then asked, 'Is it on or off?'
FINALLY,
THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE
JOKES!
A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one was named Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, 'Whoever heard of someone naming dogs like that?' 'HELLLOOOOOOO......,' answered the blonde. 'They're watch dogs
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Sept 29, 2008
Subject: September 30th birthday
|
GOOD MORNING! WOULD YOU PLEASE SEND BIRTHDAY GREETING ON TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 30TH!
TO: EDWARD JAMES HERNANDEZ who turns 22. WITH LOTS AND LOTS OF LOVE FROM YOUR PARENTS: LINO AND MARY SUE, BROTHERS, SISTER AND NEPHEWS AND NIECES.
(Can you play "Si Lo Quieres" by La Diferenzia) |
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Sept. 25, 2008
Subject: The Number 13
EVERYTHING YOU WANTED TO KNOW ABOUT THE NUMBER 13
(Sun) The global fear of 13 is apparent in everything from skyscrapers missing a 13th floor to suburban streets without a house bearing the number 13. Here are some factoids about infamous 13:
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From: Mark
Sept. 24, 2008
Subject: Good job
Hello Jay Anna, i just want to tell you two guy's that you
have the best morning show in Texas. I live in Fort Worth Texas and listen to
you're show on the net at home and at work.
I was wondering if you could play mono amarillo by David Mares.
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From: Crystal
Sept. 22, 2008
Subject: Good morning
Good morning;
My name is Crystal, I just wanted to e-mail you guys and tell you that I love your show and the music you guys play is great. I listen Online everyday from Immokalee, FL. Keep up the good work guys. KTJK all the way baby!!!
